tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post3121146205834398082..comments2024-01-02T23:04:02.489-08:00Comments on The Narcissist's Child: Denial—the core of NarcissismSweet Violethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-28516232217798496022016-10-18T22:36:28.224-07:002016-10-18T22:36:28.224-07:00I am so sorry for what you experienced in your chi...I am so sorry for what you experienced in your childhood, that is so sad, I have two grandsons that have endured very sick abuse and torture by their malignant narcissistic stepfather who was also a meth addict, alcoholic, he was extremely jealous of them, long story, but he made up delusional lies about them, he is very sick, they just turned 17 and the other one turns 16 this Friday, I wish I could help all children of narcissistic parents, I hate these cruel people.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-64992042841942449272015-04-13T08:20:31.152-07:002015-04-13T08:20:31.152-07:00I had a ski accident when I was 17. Two older sis...I had a ski accident when I was 17. Two older sisters 25 and 30, demanded I get up and ski down the mountain. They accused me of faking an injury to get attention. They were furious and even told me the next time I want attention to curl my hair before! I was berated for hours on the drive home and screamed at asserting I needed to go to the ER. I was in a long leg cast for six weeks. They never apologized which would require admission of wrong. IMO faking an illness or injury is sick behavior. I realize now they get what they want via manipulation, use words as tools and weapons projecting their behavior onto others. They are delusional that everything people do is purely for attention.<br /><br />Your recounting the house for sale was a pattern with my exN who declared our house the best house in the neighborhood and denied physical reality of water stains on the walls and ceilings. He obstructed even inexpensive repairs smearing me I was insane fixing things that were not broken and trying to convince me other people were conning me to get our money. Really? Roof caps disintegrated with sunlight and rain coming through the openings in the roof? Twice he paid someone to repainted the ceilings refusing to fix the holes. The legal fees were 150K and it was psychological torture.beenthruithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12511727236815967946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-57626714347312258732014-12-21T17:41:33.376-08:002014-12-21T17:41:33.376-08:00About the medical care thing- I have many memories...About the medical care thing- I have many memories of my NM not believing how sick I was and still sending me to school. One time I was so sick that I could barely stand up, but she still sent me that day. When I got to school, they realised that something wasn't right with me and called NM to come and pick me up and take me to the doctor. When she did, the doctor found the reason I felt so bad was because the glands in my neck were so swollen that I couldn't turn my head in either direction. But did she apologise: No she did not. She told me I should have told her how sick I was! I was 11 years old.<br /><br />All of those experiences have had a knock on effect for me. As an adult I feel guilty taking sick leave, and I never feel quite sick 'enough' not to go to work. That guilt culminated in me continuing to go to work when I got glandular fever (mono) in my 20's. Here was I, barely able to stand, going in to work every day because I was worried that people would think I was faking it because I wasn't sick enough. Luckily my boss was good and noticed something was wrong and sent me home to stay there until I felt ready to come back to work :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-67916767290097462302014-12-17T04:17:33.582-08:002014-12-17T04:17:33.582-08:00The bit about the glasses... Weirdly, I had the ex...The bit about the glasses... Weirdly, I had the exact same situation though my parents - well, my mother - handled being wrong about it better. AfaIk my mother has no narcissist tendencies but my dad may have. His mother definitely had.<br /><br />But for some reason I always found my motives questioned as a child and I was actually a pretty chill child. I was always honest to the best of my ability and obsessed with fairness and fair play. Despite these traits, which you'd think your parents would know by then, they insisted I was faking when I started showing signs of needing glasses. My mother posited that I wanted them because a popular girl in my class wore glasses. The thought had never hit me and furthermore, I was one of those kids who didn't give a flying heck who was popular. In fact, I might have been too oblivious to _know_ who was popular. A friend actually picked a "crush" for me, wrote his name on a piece of paper and put it in my wallet because I didn't realize I was supposed to crush on someone. (She was trying to make me look normal so she could keep playing with me despite the peer pressure not to, since I was weird.)<br /><br />At mandatory phys examination in middle school, it was revealed I needed glasses badly. I grew up in a country with socialized health care. Glasses were free so there was really no point in their denial. Unused to them and a scatter brain by nature, I sat on them within four weeks of getting them and then it was decided that I had done it on purpose because I didn't want to wear them or because I wanted prettier frames.<br /><br />Again, my reaction was "what?" I was notorious for leaving one sock behind wherever I was playing but suddenly me losing stuff was malicious. <br /><br />All the times they accused me of having shoplifted stuff I used birthday money on, I can't even... I don't get it because my mom clearly is sane and my dad was mainly disinterested in me so why my motives suddenly became suspect, I'll never know. I found a bunch of discontinued Choose Your Own Adventure books at a local bookstore. They had been marked down to get rid of them so I could get a hefty bunch for lollipop money. My parents insisted I had stolen them. Even though I carried them home in the store bag and had a receipt. What?<br /><br />It's so weird to see my own stories told by someone else but I have no clue where that came from in my parents. I had never given them cause, my mom had never acted insane before and my dad could barely pull his head out of his own derrierre to acknowledge he had kids. I think he definitely has narcissistic traits but he is also mainly apathetic and busy drinking. Taking enough interest to suddenly question my hitherto unshakable honesty was just odd. <br /><br />(Now that I think about it, it did coincide with me getting old enough to recoqnize (without the vocabulary) that he was trying to scapegoat my brother (who had another bio dad) and Golden Child me and I refused to be GCd. Why my mother would go along is anyone's guess though.) <br /><br /><br />Thank you for providing this resource. I just had to write because I literally only just yesterday recalled the glasses thing, in a discussion about weird things parents do, and today I find this blog, with an old post where you are describing a Stanley Kubrick version of the exact same event.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-44502113587538488692014-11-05T10:06:25.126-08:002014-11-05T10:06:25.126-08:00Good writing and thank you for the examples. It br...Good writing and thank you for the examples. It brought it to situations vs. often times more clinical discussions.<br /><br />My mother is a narcissist with anger and jealousy. I appreciate self awareness, calling something what it is, and hearing stories of others situations, it is helpful for my healing process.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-61910296208824772782013-10-21T00:31:30.482-07:002013-10-21T00:31:30.482-07:00I have and never will publish rude comments. It is...I have and never will publish rude comments. It is not a part of who I am no matter what I have experienced.Elenapalomjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13045417166706806294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-8932785478898527682013-10-21T00:20:30.641-07:002013-10-21T00:20:30.641-07:00Truer words were not ever said. Denial (what me?) ...Truer words were not ever said. Denial (what me?) is the truth of their sickness and lack of human empathy. It's sad but reality!Elenapalomjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13045417166706806294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-33696201783928352362013-08-27T06:04:56.471-07:002013-08-27T06:04:56.471-07:00This must have caused you so much pain - to see yo...This must have caused you so much pain - to see your own daughter showing signs of N. We try so hard as daughters of NM to NOT be like them with our own children, we want to be different, and then slowly, you start to see that your own daughter is just like your NM, or NH - it's like a kick in the gut. It's such a horrible realization - never to have the mother you've always hoped for, then watching your daughter show signs of being exactly the same as the other N's in your life. My daughter is 15, and she's part me, but way more like her N father. They have an unspoken understanding that I am (thankfully) not part of. They "excuse" each others transgressions, because they see a kindred soul in each other. I just sit out on the sidelines and watch them twist the truth and "forget" things. It's weird, but now that I understand what's going on, it doesn't hurt as muchAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com