tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post5240741087334271294..comments2024-01-02T23:04:02.489-08:00Comments on The Narcissist's Child: Thou shalt not feel: The 10 Commandments of Dysfunctional Families Pt 6Sweet Violethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-46265635061068917722013-11-12T15:02:53.871-08:002013-11-12T15:02:53.871-08:00I remember so well my MNM hissing at me "You ...I remember so well my MNM hissing at me "You don't know what love *is*!"<br /><br />Oh, the irony.<br /><br />And of course the sick punishment for calling someone "my best friend."<br />"She's not your best friend. We are your PARENTS. We are you best friends. We will always be your best friends. Nobody else cares about you, they're just using you."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-16356695886356434702013-11-04T09:54:19.040-08:002013-11-04T09:54:19.040-08:00I liked this blog a lot. My NM was the type who t...I liked this blog a lot. My NM was the type who took excellent physical care of her children. A lot of people would say how is she abusive when she took care of you. But I kind of realized around the age of 13, it was all about the image. From the outside she would look like a great mom, perfect family. No one knew about how after one of the parties she was known for, after the last kid left and the door was barely locked she would turn and hiss that I didn't deserve the party, so I better kiss her butt. The party wasn't for me, it was to show off her home and her "mothering". <br />There was also the label I carried of being "defiant", "difficult" or just plain bad, because out of a family of 4, I was the only one who would stand up to her, and tell her what she was doing was wrong. I paid for it later though. She waited till I was a teenager, officially not a little kid anymore, and started beating the brakes off me; the reputation destroying started then too.<br />I wasn't supposed to feel anything. I was told to "just sit there and smile". I did that.<br />By the age of 17 I was a sliding down the stairs on my face alcoholic, and a little promiscuous too. I had no plans, goals or dreams, because I wasn't allowed to. If I said what my favorite color was, I had a "bad attitude". Even typing this, I am kind of surprised that I made it through.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-46333771892197760492013-04-09T05:59:29.929-07:002013-04-09T05:59:29.929-07:00Good for you!
Nothing worthwhile happens overnigh...Good for you!<br /><br />Nothing worthwhile happens overnight. You attract (and are attracted to) Ns because you were conditioned to do exactly that. The first step is learning to recognize them sooner rather than later---after one or two dates instead a few years into a relationship; when you first meet rather than after a couple of dates...etc. It takes time, you have to not only hone your observation skills, but learn to heed your own internal warning system...you didn't become an N-magnet overnight and you won't become able to identify and avoid them overnight, either. But every day can be another step forward, another day of learning to trust your gut when it says "uh oh...N warning!"<br /><br />Ns are all around us and you are going to meet them, like it or not. The trick is to learn to recognize them and not let them into your life in a way that gives them any power over you (in a personal sense: if you have an N boss, you have to put up with the crap in the business arena, but learn to keep him/her out of your personal feelings).<br /><br />Best of luck to you,<br /><br />Hugs,<br /><br />VioletSweet Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-77746045499982013452013-03-08T16:27:48.811-08:002013-03-08T16:27:48.811-08:00Hello,
Thank you for this blog. Just two days ago...Hello,<br /><br />Thank you for this blog. Just two days ago, I prayed and asked to know why I was so aware of some of the people in the office, I'm always on the look out for them, expecting them to say something that needs me to be "ready"...and now I find your blog. The people are the N's in the office.<br /><br />I had my big depression in 2010. A blessed time. I remember it fondly, as it was the beginning of this amazing journey I am on now. Last year, I went through the rage, and expressed it to my mother...happily...that is in retrospect. At the time, I felt so guilty!<br /><br />I loved reading about how, when you started dating again, the men you met were also N's. I had despaired, because even after two years of work, I was still meeting N men. I work with N's and have no real friends for now, all new relationships have been with different versions of my mother. I have hope now...and will keep myself open to finding others who are open to mutually loving relationships.<br /><br />I am reclaiming, re-defining, experiencing with my own eyes and truth...and living with a new hope and love :) Thanks for sharing.<br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com