tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post5769284485868265399..comments2024-01-02T23:04:02.489-08:00Comments on The Narcissist's Child: Narcissism’s Relationship Trap Sweet Violethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-10631453295848749142014-11-22T00:38:18.634-08:002014-11-22T00:38:18.634-08:00Excellent post, Violet and I can totally empathize...Excellent post, Violet and I can totally empathize! I have done a LOT of healing since I last posted a comment here, and I am doing really well. And yes, I've had the typical succession of narc boyfriends (since my divorce 14 years ago), and for a long time thought I just had a bad run with men) The last one was even diagnosed by a psychiatrist as a sociopath. He was a real nightmare.<br /><br />But now I can look back and see all the red flags that I DID notice, but always found excuses for his behaviour. Trouble was, I was looking for someone to rescue me, a pattern that started with my marriage when I was 21. I wanted a husband who'd protect me from my mother.<br /><br />Later after the divorce, I had three different relationships to abusive men. But as each new man didn't seem as bad as the previous one, and seemed like a knight in shining armour, I'd let him. (see how low my standard was. He only had to be better than the previous one)<br /><br />They'd always angle to be my confidente, and even if I resisted at first, they'd keep working that angle. (especially the sociopath guy, who'd once been a pastor and counsellor). Incidently, everything I shared with him, he used against me cruelly later on)<br /><br />So, you are absolutely right on. I don't look to be rescued anymore, I take note of red flags (male or female) and take them seriously. And don't overlook or excuse bad behaviour. My standards are high now, and I'd rather be alone than with someone who does not treat me with respect.<br /><br /><br />On a side note, I stumbled upon DoNM on Facebook this afternoon. (appeared in the side bar of my timeline as Daughters of Narcissist Mothers). Holy cow!! She's on there telling people off and telling them to F--- off her page if they don't like or agree with her!! You weren't wrong about her, Violet. (I thought of you) She's abusive to her followers and even immediately used projection on one of them who pointed out she was treating them badly. It's right at the top of the her page. Can't miss it. Check it out. Not good. Hope other women don't see it and think it's a haven. It isn't.Venushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14794263484861727335noreply@blogger.com