tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post6662476249159903085..comments2024-01-02T23:04:02.489-08:00Comments on The Narcissist's Child: Accusations Against Me (Part 3)Sweet Violethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-27163045578575240722012-11-16T00:39:06.827-08:002012-11-16T00:39:06.827-08:00To the best of my knowledge, there is not another ...To the best of my knowledge, there is not another forum like Danu's--which may not be such a bad thing, as people in her forum do not seem to be encouraged to heal and move on, but to wallow in their misery, share it with others, and to wallow in theirs as well.<br /><br />You may have noticed a lack of women who are further along in their healing than the others--I think this is deliberate. I know the lack of mental health professionals amongst the members is also quite deliberate: I know two DoNMs whose mothers are actually therapists themselves, which prompted the daughters to go into the field--to figure it all out! One of them was on Danu's forum and was ultimately banned for differing with Light on one of her "articles." Rather than correct the article with input from a credentialled psychologist, Light banned the psychologist...and all other mental health practitioners...from the site!<br /><br />I looked up the criteria for BPD:<br />A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:<br />1.Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.<br />2.A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. This is called "splitting."<br />3.Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.<br />4.Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).<br />5.Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.<br />6.Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).<br />7.Chronic feelings of emptiness.<br />8.Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).<br />9.Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.<br /><br />I am no mental health professional myself, but I really don't see these as fitting Danu (Tracy Culleton) or Light (Michelle Ede) as they present themselves on the Forum. The Narcissistic criteria seems to fit them much better, from their lack of empathy to their grandiosity, to their justification and rationalization. But, absent a professional diagnosis (which I do not see either of these two permitting), we will never know for sure...but we should still protect ourselves and others from them.<br /><br />Thank you for your comment and I hope to see you around here again.<br /><br />Hugs,<br /><br />VioletSweet Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-19926024991058581562012-11-15T17:34:10.120-08:002012-11-15T17:34:10.120-08:00Thank you for writing this! I recently had a "...Thank you for writing this! I recently had a "weird" experience at DONM that caused me to do some searching around the web about unjust mod previews and bans there.<br /><br />My first guess when I was mistreated by site admin there was that the mods were Bpd, supporting stories of N Abuse (there are a lot of Bpd/Npd couples and relationship type of pairs. Not saying this is always the case, but something was very wrong at a forum that does have a lot of correct information about N's. So I thought maybe the Bpd was describing N behavior properly while being disordered themselves).<br /><br />That is the problem there. A lot of information is true, but something is very wrong with site admin. So how could we have such good information under what seems to be disordered admin? My suspicion is that they were a differetn disorder themselves who was accurately discribing the abuse they encountered from another disorder who usually is a good fit for them under the right circumstances).<br /><br />But who knows?<br /><br />The admin there lacks empathy, and like you suggest they do seem like N's themselves. Light's comment you posted concerns me. Who is Light to point out the troubled emotional state of another member?<br /><br />We are emotionally troubled, and that is why we are there! We are suffering people in dangerous sitautions, so of course we will post stuff that concerns people. That should be the whole point there if you ask me.<br /><br />There also appears to be favortisim there, and I have found site admin gets defensive when you point out the slightest whim of their issues.<br /><br />They resort to cult like punishment systems, like ex communicating people or ignoring their posts (like ignoring N's!) to display their favoritism in discreet ways.<br /><br />The members there are very nice, though, but they seem under a spell sometimes, like there is a hidden system of eggshells there that new members are unaware of.<br /><br />I saw them allow several members to post on a certain topic. Then when I posted it like they did-even less of an issue-they took issue with what I wrote?!<br /><br />It was weird, so maybe its ADMIN who we need to be concerned about. <br /><br />My question to you is where else is there to go? What other places are supportive for us? I like the information on Light's blog and on DONM, but in person they remind me of Bpd's who can accurately describe N behavior to a perfect "T", but as you deal with them you are hurt and invalidated by their emotionally abusive behavior and closed systems of logic that many emotionally abusers have.<br /><br />Thanks again for speaking up! This is refreshing to know it wasn't just me!<br /><br />To bad because the site really tells it like it is as far as N behavior goes. Maybe they can describe it all so well because, like an N, they are still fixated on themselves so they can describe themselves so well?<br /><br />Or maybe they copy and paste info from the web and rewrite the articles so help their business like you're suggesting. I don't know any where near what you do about them and their history, but I totally believe you.<br /><br />They act like ducks, write like ducks, so they must be ducks who can tell others about ducks who quack just like them!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com