tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post7325329763298163941..comments2024-01-02T23:04:02.489-08:00Comments on The Narcissist's Child: Narcissists and HypocrisySweet Violethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-90791698389511807762016-01-02T02:15:21.726-08:002016-01-02T02:15:21.726-08:00Thank you for this post... I was also thinking of ...Thank you for this post... I was also thinking of applying this strategy in my life, to keep calm, not to loose temper at all. and to see other person as a sick man. After reading this, I am more positive that I am going in a right direction.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-51808536279831505732015-12-23T21:48:27.553-08:002015-12-23T21:48:27.553-08:00You are right, I was looking for articles on how t...You are right, I was looking for articles on how to deal with such kind of ppl.. But could find the right answer, but yes you are right, atleast half of the battle is won if I have recognised a narcissist or a hypocrite person. Thank you for these positive lines.Preetinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-32869064860670787372015-08-14T22:53:52.030-07:002015-08-14T22:53:52.030-07:00Narcissistic people can be defeated in their own g...Narcissistic people can be defeated in their own game. Why? Because the moment a person or a group of people do their research and observation on this person who are narcissistic, you've already won the war. Narcissists live in a world in their minds, where they believe that no one, not single a soul knows their true intentions or colors. Sadly, they're gravely mistaken. Doing your research on the manner, observing the issue, and pointing out your own true intentions compared to that of a narcissistic person, is the best way to defeat them. I say that because narcissistic people like the idea lying about another person for their own pleasure rather than stating the truth and facts about another individual. It's also important to read a narcissists comments very carefully and clarify what they truly mean. They like to say things, but say negative things about a person indirectly and then lie about it the moment you catch them. It's about knowing your own psychology and their psychology to detect who they are, and what their intentions are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-89703442650890520512015-02-20T04:25:59.554-08:002015-02-20T04:25:59.554-08:00the problem with walking away etc is that I've...the problem with walking away etc is that I've never been able to....emotional blackmail, help (with conditions natch), only child, single mother, sooo many reasons I couldn't stay away, responsibilities, and now she's terminally ill, I am the only person who can look after her....I'd managed successfully to maintain a distance but now.....not a chance......i am on call basicallyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-59317901712802965072015-02-20T04:23:38.855-08:002015-02-20T04:23:38.855-08:00I've found that my NPD mother is an absolute M...I've found that my NPD mother is an absolute MASTER of denialAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-59415561444132738882014-11-11T22:10:47.019-08:002014-11-11T22:10:47.019-08:00Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do until h...Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do until he is ready to accept that there is something wrong with her...and since he is vulnerable to being guilted, he's not ready.<br /><br />The worst thing you can do is start pointing out her faults to him because that is liable to turn him against YOU. If you put him in a position that he must defend her against your allegations (and if he lives with her, he may feel that is must do so), then you create a situation in which he must choose sides and that is a dangerous thing to do...he may choose HER and if that happens, he will be lost to you for a much longer time than if you wait for him to start having his own doubts.<br /><br />You might try the same "guilt" thing on him...tell him you don't feel you are getting equal time and maybe he could spend a semester living with you instead of her to kind of balance the scales...then DO NOT pound him with negative information about his mother, simply allow him to live in a more relaxed, sane setting. When the semester is over, suggest he stays with you another semester (he's lived with her how long?).<br /><br />Beware, however, that he may prefer her company because she indulges him in ways you would not...and if that is the case, being a very young man, he will likely prefer living with a person who does not expect him to act like an adult. But the bottom line is, no matter what, do not bad mouth his mother to him, no matter how true your information is. Let him come to his doubts in his own time, answer his questions honestly--but gently--and let him make his own choices. It is your ONLY hope of opening his eyes...and it is only a hope.Sweet Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-48955424493347318902014-11-11T13:42:00.771-08:002014-11-11T13:42:00.771-08:00my exwife is a narc . while we were married she wo...my exwife is a narc . while we were married she would exhibit some intense hypocrisies ,she'd frivolously spend money right after she would tell me our account was almost empty . We have been divorced 3 years this coming December. She still is up to all her old habits and unfortunately our 18 yr old son is still living with her (she guilted him to stay) he feels financially responsible for her ( I still pay child support until he is done with school) .the amount of money I send her each month a small family could live off of easily ,yet she has him call me to ask for new clothes ,says she can't afford it ( while she buys COACH purses) I could go on and on. I have minimal contact with her now only because of my kids still live with her. I'll be glad when I have absolutely NO contact with her. I just wish I could make my son see what his own mother is doing, using him, just as she did to me for 21 years. How can children of Narcs be helped. How can we help them see what is in front of them without the guilt of "abandoning" the narc parent? Theres so many ways I could help him but can't because of her. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-88627556392524203952014-11-03T01:50:39.953-08:002014-11-03T01:50:39.953-08:00Fantastic article, I agree the only thing you can ...Fantastic article, I agree the only thing you can do is walk away and stay gone, I had to do this tooAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-64981855101466000522014-11-02T05:20:23.877-08:002014-11-02T05:20:23.877-08:00I've mastered dealing with the narcissist. How...I've mastered dealing with the narcissist. How? I learned the lesson for me behind it all. When they speak their bullshit to me, I just observe and think "wow, THEY'VE really got a problem don't they? NOT MINE!" I then am able to not take personally their negative personal comments, or negative attacks that try to hook me into battle. I NEVER defend myself. <br /><br />That desire for PEACE and COMPROMISE is the carrot that they dangle and keep pulling away and will never give you. They do not compromise, they are not rational. So what I do is make decisions that get my needs met. I speak my needs only. I let them rant about right and wrong, and then again I repeated say, "ok. so here is what I need." <br /><br />When you focus only on your needs and make decision based on that, you don't need to defend WHY. Never defend yourself! It's their trap! Don't take the bait to be a part of their drama. Look up Non-violent communication and try it. It helps. But don't ever expect them to do it. They won't. But it will help you stay centered and clear and out of their drama. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-23585397893431415862014-11-02T00:50:00.975-07:002014-11-02T00:50:00.975-07:00I had my ex charged with assault, it took 4 months...I had my ex charged with assault, it took 4 months before he was charged and in that time I was kind of hoping he would show some remorse ot even apologise.....oh sure......now its official and he has to front up at court...and hes really on the back foot and I,m getting the silent treatment which I,m very gratefull for. Its like yr friend, it escelated over past 4 years. He loved running his family down, which didn,t take me long to see what a wonderful supportive family he has. His epertise is the punishment thing. He has held a grudge against his brother for 30years.<br />If you stand up for yourself or call him out on something oh boy run for the hills. And my biggest problem is I do stand up for myself, I have called him a hipocrite that many times now I,m sure its his first name.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-59619803794923153992014-11-02T00:11:10.964-07:002014-11-02T00:11:10.964-07:00Both my parents are narcissists and many ex's....Both my parents are narcissists and many ex's. I seem to attract them like a beacon. My last ex ruined so badly that I have ended up living with my mother. At 47 this is not the place you want to find yourself in your darkest days. LOL. Its taken a year but I am hopeful to be making an escape soon. Not surprisingly, now that I may be leaving she is treating me decent, which after 10 months of torture is nice but I see how this is suppose to end. With me staying and her reverting back into pure evil all so she can have a live in being to attack at will. I will never understand these people and I am damn happy about it. What a miserable way to exist for 70 years and counting. As I Lay Bleedinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03562428077313560197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-46177432988977426662014-02-01T09:46:00.640-08:002014-02-01T09:46:00.640-08:00That's a nice fantasy, Anon, but Ns are pros a...That's a nice fantasy, Anon, but Ns are pros at avoiding responsibility. You can keep the N out of your life to the degree possible, fix yourself so she doesn't succeed at pushing your buttons, and be there for you child.<br /><br />But an N owning up to their behaviour? Ain't gonna happen (except, perhaps, as part of a game she runs on you). Keep records, document everything, go to family therapy with your child, but don't expect your ex to EVER take responsibility for her behaviour...if she is really an N, that would be like expecting a cow to breathe underwater...Sweet Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-88802151326903114692014-01-31T21:08:24.393-08:002014-01-31T21:08:24.393-08:00I agree with the walk away, and stay gone. It'...I agree with the walk away, and stay gone. It's not always a possibility.. being a Father of a child with a NM. Reading all the N blogs is validating that I'm not the crazy one, but all the blogs talk about running away, or fixing yourself in order to avoid the N's in your life. That's a nice concept, but to me, reality is that at some point an N must be held responsible for their actions. We have to do it, and regardles of an N's hypocrisy, their comes a time when they must own up also.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-43324181279248048302013-08-05T12:21:02.858-07:002013-08-05T12:21:02.858-07:00Actually, Ava, they are delusional, but not in the...Actually, Ava, they are delusional, but not in the same was a schizophrenic might be considered delusional. But they are definitely distanced from reality!Sweet Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321094659806702782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-11223277315790945722013-08-03T07:34:38.974-07:002013-08-03T07:34:38.974-07:00So true. I often need reminding. So true. I often need reminding. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-15880904724592768832013-07-19T22:28:40.829-07:002013-07-19T22:28:40.829-07:00Yes, this is a great article, that most of us who ...Yes, this is a great article, that most of us who live with or know this type of person, more than likely would agree and recognize the behavior. It is a total nightmare to have to deal with the "me me me, look what I did, or what I'm going to do" and the "do as I say, not as I do" attitude. I feel that delusional should also be added to this mental condition since they are not in touch with reality. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10812382029250094658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333405565931840271.post-77715837949835857042013-04-23T14:46:19.183-07:002013-04-23T14:46:19.183-07:00Great article. Thank you.Great article. Thank you.Sukinoreply@blogger.com