It is difficult to deal with a narcissist when you are a grown, independent, fully functioning adult. The children of narcissists have an especially difficult burden, for they lack the knowledge, power, and resources to deal with their narcissistic parents without becoming their victims. Whether cast into the role of Scapegoat or Golden Child, the Narcissist's Child never truly receives that to which all children are entitled: a parent's unconditional love. Start by reading the 46 memories--it all began there.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Finally! A forum for us!

The other day I got an invitation to join a new forum…a place where we can interact with other people who share our experiences with having Ns in our lives. What excited me about it was that it was founded by a small group of women who were left abandoned when Tracy Culleton (Danu) shut down her DoNM forum.

Like all new endeavours, this new forum needs members to make it work. The core group of founders are looking for people to join and they asked me to pass the word. I thought I would go one better: I offered them a guest post on this blog and asked if I could distribute some free memberships to people who were interested. And to my delight, they said yes!

Here is the story of this exciting new forum:

The Fairy Tale

The story of the Ugly Duckling tells about the duckling that is attacked and abused by the other ducklings in his Duck Family for being different. When he leaves the duck pond he feels horrible and thinks that something is wrong with him. But after the winter is past, be finds out he has grown into a beautiful gracious swan.

Our own fairy tale started with 10 women that connected online in an effort to understand the troubled relationships they had with their parents. After the website they connected through crashed, a lot of women who depended on that site for validation and advice got abandoned. The 10 founding Swans were lucky enough to have exchanged emails before this happened, and were able to re-establish contact. We moved their healing journey to Skype, where we were able chat and post and continue their journey to healing.

We realized the power of journaling thru a forum and comparing experiences.We cheered each other on and empathised with tough situations. We became sounding boards and reality checks for one another. And we began to understand the power of a community to support us when our FOOs fail--the power of a community to comfort, to teach, to assist with compassion.

Another thing we have realised is we don't want to stay stuck in the mode of just sitting around griping about our terrible mothers. This allows us to move forward with a focus on our lives and our healing. We realised we wanted to share this growth with others and offer them a path to healing, just like we had been able to share.

It has been a year now, and the changes in our lives and attitudes have been breath-taking.  During that year, we decided to start the website community to provide a platform for the healing journey back from what we call Trouble Parent(s) or Toxic Parent(s) or Emotional Bullies.

The realisations and coping skills to heal from many types of abuse are similar. We have strived to make our articles positive and focussed on the victims, on our personal stories and experiences, while focussing on coping and healing advice. With a membership, we also  offer chat and a forum ready for your writings. is not intended for profit. That commitment is strong. At we are not trying to sell you anything, and the only reason that membership requires a nominal fee is because we want to keep out trolls and other nosy people. We happily supply Swans who struggle to pay a membership with a sponsorship. All we want is to help other Swans find their way on the Swan Path.

I am Nova, one of the founding Swans. I stumbled onto The Narcissist’s Child blog (which I read and re-read) and introduced myself to Violet. Although we are new acquaintances, I feel we already understand each other because of many shared experiences.  Through her, we are happy to invite you to join the Founding Swans over at with a coupon for a one-year free membership. I think you will find that it is place where people “get” you, where we all understand where you are coming from.

As we are a new website, our forum is just beginning. We would appreciate your participation in the community and look forward to getting to know you. In return for your free membership, we ask only that you advise us of any technical website issues or suggestions for improvements at Thank you Violet, for allowing me a guest post!

Fly free and live in peace,

If you are interested in joining this forum, please send me an email using the email form below, telling me you want in and I will email you back with a code that you use when you sign up for the forum that will give you free access for a year. I only have 25 free memberships to give away, though, so if you are interested, contact me right away! If, at the end of the year, you wish to continue your membership and cannot afford to pay the membership fee, let Nova know and she will chat with you regarding a “scholarship” that will allow you to continue as a member at a reduced or even no cost.

I have joined and I think this is a wonderful opportunity for all of us. For those who were burned in or banned from Danu’s forum, this is a particularly good opportunity because these people have learned from her mistakes: nothing to sell, no hidden agendas, and as far as I can tell, no over-inflated egos running the show.

I look forward to your emails

Hugs and healing wishes to you all,



  1. I would love to join the swan group. There isn't a lot of good and helpful forums out there for coping. Thank you

    1. I am sure they would love to have you...please send me an email using the email text box below the comment box (scroll down nearer the end of the page) and I will be happy to give you your code.

  2. CZBZ's Web of Narcissism is a safe, comprehensive forum that's been there for years.

    1. What would a woman do without her lovely, supportive friends?! Thank you CS for mentioning WoN, and you also Violet. I appreciate your support listing WoN as a trustworthy forum.

      Ever since we started in 2005, new forums have been organized which is a WoNderful thing to see! The more forums, the more people we can help and potentially change the sad legacy of the narcissistic family.

      Best of luck to (I love the fairytale imagery)!


    2. Thank you CZ for the warm wishes! We chose the Ugly Duckling imagery because it is a fairytale where no magic is needed -- the lovely young swan only needs to realize his own worth to be free! Thank you as well for being a safe place where people like me
      can come to heal and rejuvenate. -----Nova,

  3. Hurrah!! Great news :) Congratulations and hope to see you there!!




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